Hello S Ferguson~ Prepping for Prep !

This is your local and frolic like Sb here. I'm reviewing you on behalf of the Simply Positive group. Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- This is for the 'I write in Winter...' competition and also for an intentionally bad story contest, aka- "Intentionally Bad Story Contest"  [ASR]. Which, means ratinig lower is the whole point. I also totally remember this song, "who let the dogs out" which is a special kind of horrid earworm for sure. A few little correction things:

'Criminal Minds,'- comma goes within ','

Besides the above correction I didn't find any other areas to point out. I know that sometimes with writing intentionally bad poetry/stories that people may make it 'bad' with incorrect grammar, punctuation, etc. Which, isn't exactly it, it's just showing us something that is intentionally bad in the story or poetry sense.

Things Which I Enjoyed
A maniacal rage swept over the elder sister -

I really dig this part and I like how even though this is a flash fiction piece, you paint the sibling rivalry extremely well between these two. I really enjoyed the humor in this piece and I thought that you definitely nailed this.

Overall Comments
Overall, I find this to be a well-done intentionally bad short story. There was just the one small punctuation that I noticed with here. And, since this is for a bad story contest I'll be rating it lower since that is the point with these contests. Good luck with Kit's contest and knock them dead! (literally, maybe). I hope this little review of mine is helpful. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .