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Review #4285012
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Review by Jay O'Toole
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Rated: | (5.0)
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Thank you for the privilege of reviewing your short story. It is very colorful, but occasionally it causes the color to drain from my thoughts. ;)

*ButtonV*Overall Impression: This is a very inventive concept. Technicolorfully, it's supposed to be a "bad story," but it has many things, that lend credibility to a very good story.

*Pencil*Suggestions: Follow the thought through to it conclusion. I think you have the potential for an entire novel here. Run with it! (BTW, there are a few "loose ends" in this short story, that you could "tie up" in the novel form. I'm still trying to figure out the guys in suits in the middle of the night. Did they really do that back in the era of the beginning of the "talkies"?)

*Apple*Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: You seem to be pretty good with this part of it. Nothing stood out as a glaring error. "No news is good news." Take the case of a B&W baby. ;)

*Heart*What I Like: I like the fact, that you created a story based on the scenario of a doctor giving bad news to parents, who have given birth to a "different" baby. Creating an entirely new illness or difference is ingenious.

Great job! WRITE ON! :D
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/05/2017 @ 3:00pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4285012