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Review #4289069
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Bad Elf  
Review by Shaye
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Mari McKee ,

I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Invalid Item"  in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " .

Title: As your poem suggests, he was a Bad Elf. Good title, that pulled me in, so I could find out exactly what this elf had done! You've also chosen suitable genres to maximise exposure. *Thumbsup*

First Impression: I laughed out loud at the third line, so I'd say my first impression was that this poem is very entertaining and funny. You did a great job with the build-up to the punchline and summed it all up in just four lines. *Thumbsup*

Rhyme: The simple rhyme with the second and last line aid the flow of this poem, and it encourages the easy reading around the punchline. Great job!

Word Choice: "Peppermint gas" is hilarious. It's Christmassy, and yet still not something Santa wants to happen! The link with the "elf on a shelf" craze also ties it into real life nicely. I'm wondering if all of those elves on the shelves actually just had bad peppermint gas! *Laugh* The fact you've created this link to real-life as well adds an extra element to your poem.

Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted here.

Closing Thoughts: Thanks for the very entertaining read. I think I'm going to remember the "peppermint gas" line for a while. *Laugh*

Lorraine

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Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.


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