Hi paddy1,

I'm 💙 Carly . I am doing this review as part of the "I Write in December-January-February"  [E].

It is important to remember that I am not a professional. I am simply one who wishes to learn and grow in my own poetic voice. To do that, I practice my own creations and review the creations of others so that my knowledge can be furthered. That said, I want you to consider my opinion as merely that... your poem is ultimately your creation. Please feel free to use or disregard my advice as you see fit.



A chilling aftermath of a life after the destruction of Earth.


Three line stanzas... where ideas run across from one stanza to the next.
I am not certain of the form... a structure seems to be imposed on the flow of free verse.
There is no rhyming and I do not make out any set number of beats to a line.



Enjambment is used to create flow... but also to carry ideas from one verse into the next.


"I will be on that ship. I will touch
Earth's crust once more, I will breath
air warmed by the sun. I will."

I like the hope that fills in this verse.


"We may have discovered the secret
to longevity but illness is still a danger"
I would be inclined to put a comma after longevity.

"and I swear
we all nightmare about it still."

This is a little clunky... what about 'we all have nightmares about it still.'

I see no spelling concerns.


I understand the contest requires you to leave out a letter... it would be lovely to know the letter - even if it is put into a dropnote at the end of your piece... unless that is not allowed. Is the letter an 'f'?

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more of your work. Do keep writing.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .