Hello Carly!
I am glad to see someone else ditched their New Year's goals!
I am assuming you used a free form type of poem since I couldn't figure out any form used. When I look at poetry, I look for imagery, words I can't forget, or a feeling formed from reading the work.
In this poem, I appreciate the humor used and the last line/idea are clever. Good use of alliteration and imagery. Maybe a couple too many ..., you could use - instead or get rid of them all together. It breaks up the flow of the poem.
Good luck in the contest.