I so enjoy brief oriental type poetry and I have seen this form in a recent contest so it is cool to read your rendition. I can envision the songird and how the poet feels about its song.
The response of nature is a lovely use of personification too.

The form is structured well I think with its inner rhyme. I also like the consonance of repeating "s" sound as I read aloud. The last line is a strong statement that gives the idea that this song must be incredible.

I wonder if the vision would be more vivid if you named the bird--as there are many kinds of song birds. Still it does leave it open for us to choose our own favourite. Also, I wonder how to do this without using the over used word "and". Just my pondering!

I liked the simplicity of the poem and its vision that gives me the sense of a meditative moment.
Thanks for sharing your writing.

You responded to this review 01/14/2017 @ 11:25pm EST

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