Hi S Ferguson~ Prepping for Prep .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and "I Write in December-January-February"  [E].
I have just read poem "Invalid Item" , which I found when I posted my own entry for week #7 of the I Write contest and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Oh my goodness... I have only read the first line so far and I am intrigued! A basset hound and a bull. A baby who likes to throw tantrums.


Characters:
Though this is a poem, we have several characters:
Matthew the baby
Sally and Frank are his parents - in need of a sitter.
Edgar - the dog - I like this name for a Basset Hound
Axis - the bull
Hank - the china shop owner


Setting:
A china shop... because hey, bulls in china shops are comical. Thought the tale does not describe in detail - the mind connection is there.


Plot:
Baby Matthew does not like the china shop and wants to get ice cream.


Favourite Part:
If only they could get some ice cream
If not, all he knew to do was scream.

The dog and the bull covered their ears.
Matthew screamed, he started to cry.
The tiny tantrum was too high pitched in the small shop.
Glasses shattered, cups started to pop.

This I can imagine.


Suggestions:
I am not sure about this but I am thinking the 's' could be left off of colour and mother's to sound a little better - but I am thinking that is just me because both are fine when read aloud. Though I am wondering what mother has three colours of eyes?!


Additional Comments:
I am not sure about the poem's form, but each quatrain has the last two lines rhyming.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .