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 Review #4300212 |
 | The Game She Play (Sonnet I)  [E] My first attempt at a sonnet.  |
| (4.5)  Welcome to WDC T.M.W.! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!  Wow! Good for you for writing a sonnet!  The title suggests there is a drama of some sort. I think you need to have an "s" or "ed" on Play in the title.  This was a delight to read and flowed smoothly in the way of a sonnet! Your rhythm and rhyme was in sync and the soundscape a marvel. Your use of alliterative words and techniques like assonance and consonance was effective. eg. "teasing and taunting", "seduced and sedated" etc! I liked the idea of "secret endorphins" as an expression too. Oh and the line "she sings....Lyre" is so lyrical!   You paint a vivid picture of this temptress and how the poet feels about her.I think "can not" is one word. "cannot". I so enjoyed reading and entering into your clear vision with it potent voice and atmosphere! I admire your craft!  Keep on writing.Light on the path as you write on! eyestar ** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable ** "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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