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Review #4300249
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Review by eyestar~*
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Terrence! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Smile*Your title is right on track for upcoming Valentine's day. You could add it to the Love/Romance genre perhaps replacing one of the other general categories. It might bring more views this time of year. *Wink*

Your first line sets the tone and premise firmly. The two verses seem to be free form as I did not notice specific rhyme or rhythm. I did like the assonance sound connection in the last verse with "rides" "by" and "smile". The long "i" adds to the read aloud flow. The enjambent in line 1 of the second paragraph gives a good effect too. *Thumbsup*

The tone and aura are philosophical and you offer suggestions that sound wise as from experience. The first two lines of verse 2 flow well and add some drama in the image of the evocative "silent screams"! *Smile*

I was looking for more specific vivid evidence of the theme of your first line,*Wink* yet did enjoy the vision and inspiration.

Thanks for sharing your craft and vision here at WDC! It is a privilege to read your work! Keep on writing. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 02/11/2017 @ 12:20pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4300249