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Review #4300877
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Rated: | (3.5)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, olgoat Welcome to WDC! *BurstV*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


Your item came up on the Random Review click, so here I am.

*Web3* I am not a huge fan of much of the rhyming poetry because it can get a little sing-songy when over done. Rhyming also tends to make some writers choose simply words that are commonly used, which can get a little trying while reading through it. However, I read this poem a few times to get the feel for the message within.

On the positive side:

*EggV* I love the philosophical message your are trying to weave within the lines of your succinct poem. It is quite true, that the truth can be difficult to find, even if right before one's eyes. Yet, it is very valuable because one can make better choices when the truth is uncovered.

Observations:


"Incited by my inside out,

*Video* I loved the first line in this verse. It has The words "incited" and "inside" which make this line pop-out to the reader. *ThumbsUpR*


I see clearly - but [I] doubt. (the extra syllable keeps the rhythm.)

Tears fall, I cry out loud.
*Idea*TRY: Tears abound, I cry out loud It has the extra syllable to keep the stanza's rhythm, and "abound" is a word with more impact than "fall."

*RingsSilver* I think this poem can polish-up nicely with a few edit adjustments here and there.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/13/2017 @ 10:35pm EST
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