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Review #4301148
Viewing a review of:
 In Winter  [E]
cold snow ice freezing
by Chazzz
Review of In Winter  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *RainbowL*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Sneaker4* I saw this poem while perusing the Read a Newbie, page. I'm happy I decided to read and review this -- loved your imagery and the well-chosen words you used to capture this reader's attention. You wove your lines together beautifully.

*Snow5* Winter, although for many is the toughest part of the year, can be absolutely gorgeous in its own right. However, as a snowbird, following the geese southward is where my compass leads me.

Observations:

*Thought* I thought of a couple spots where a word could be exchanged for another word with more impact. It is merely a suggestion, though, since this poem is beautiful as is.

"The snow lies deep and incandescent light makes me squint

(Florescent/iridescent probably brighter than "incandescent.")

"And frigid air cuts through my pants like shards of glass." Try using the word "slacks" instead of pants. *Wink* (sibilance)



Love this line!*Down*
"Across the turquoise sky a skein of geese wings south."

*Chicken* So much of this I loved. I quote that one line, but there were several lines that made me pause and think -- wow!

Wonderful job! *StarfishR*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/09/2017 @ 9:46pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4301148