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Review #4310618
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Review by Satuawany
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Pic—is that trash on those stairs, or chupacabra?

All right, let's see how this watch goes. I know I like opening in Taylor's head, getting to see Gillian through his eyes.

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so you better get your dirty hands off Fred.”
         *Laugh* So in my little mental version of this, Banks has his phone on speaker, so Fred hears that, and imaging his expression makes this line even better.

“Now I get why they always talk about you two, and why you were the best team Homicide had in decades.”
         Yeah! I really enjoyed reading his words here, about Banks in general and Banks with Gillian. Great stuff.

That’s a very long time to work with somebody in this job.
         That “in” should be “on”

That’s why he always knows what I’m about to say: he was there when I learned to think the way I do.”
         Oh, I love love love this line. There is so very much truth in it. *Heart*

Gillian pulled down the ladder quietly and climbed to the second floor.
         I with you on the stealthiness since they spotted this nimble shadow (lovely combination of adjective and noun, by the by), but this action seems like one that can't be a quiet thing. Mind you, I have zero experience with actual fire escapes, but they're metal. And that makes noise.
Come to think of it, though, it'd be really hard for the shadow to be quiet, too. So I could get behind the thought that any noise she makes doing this will be masked by the little noises the shadow's making. But as sad as it may sound, I do think I need a little mention of that being the case, just keep the thought from distracting me from the story. If that makes sense.

the killer pushed up Young’s window and
         Word order: pushed young's window up and

it’d figure that he knew the dealers in his hit-list.
         That “in” should be “on”

Young didn’t quite sound like greeting a buddy.
         Missing a couple of words here: sound like he was greeting
         I am enjoying how she lines everything up to figure out what she figures out about the shadow. *Thumbsup*

Whenever you want, dear.
         Always time for a quip, even just in thought! *Delight*

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And another really enjoyable chapter. Did I expect any different? Of course not! Even if I hadn't read this before. *Wink*

Another great example of word economy. You build Taylor's and Gillian's getting to know one another with getting to know Banks and Gillian's history/relationship as well. I could eat this stuff up all day. And I have!

And it all blends so well into the sudden time for action, as well as a realization. Nicely done!

*Starfishb* Chy

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