This is an "Invalid Item"  review    

When A Buffalo Falls
by KZN

Chapter 18

Here comes another chapter as Hunter's problems are growing by the minute!

>>> and he muttered angrily beneath his breath, You're too damn sure of yourself, women! I’m not dead yet!
Because this is not a silent thought, it is muttered, no matter how quietly, I think it should have quotation marks.

>>> “I’m gentle,” she told him sweetly, “But in my excitement,
Since the dialogue tag is inserted in the middle of the sentence, the 'But' should not be capitalized. If you intend a new sentence, then there would be a period after 'sweetly' and leave the cap.

>>> Steadily he moved his hand into the pit of his arm and immediately felt the stickiness of his warm wet blood.
Very graphic...good.

>>> Then she dropped to her haunches digging her knees into his back.
All this action is very easy to follow.

>>> As she worked on the buckskin cord Hunter slowly raised his right elbow in line where he thought her head might be,
First, need a comma after 'cord'. Second think about adding something about the extreme pain he felt raising the elbow. High tension moment.

>>> ...the power of it landing on the side of his jaw, added to his momentum, and Hunter spun away helplessly landing face down in the dirt.
This is the last part of a very long sentence. I suggest a period after 'momentum'. Change 'added' to 'adding'
Then a new sentence, changing 'away' to 'around'.
>>> ...the power of it landing on the side of his jaw, adding to his momentum. Hunter spun around helplessly landing face down in the dirt.
He's sitting down so he'd essentially just roll over and fall face down.
You've got a great action moment.

>>> She wiped the buckskin tight and Hunter felt the cord slide...
Not 'wiped', you mean whipped. Make two sentences rather than connecting with 'and':
She whipped the buckskin tight. Hunter felt the cord slide...

>>> She quickly fastened the cord to his...
Too many repetitions of 'cord' in the paragraph. Change this cord to 'leather'.
Sounds painful.

>>> “Don't worry, mister,” she said.
Maybe 'mister' is too formal for this wicked woman. (?)

>>> ...but my pretty unclothes I'll leave for you.”
Ugh! I can imagine!

>>> so that they resembled the lower quarter of a mule's butt,
Great image!

>>> Hunter watched with a nauseating feeling in his guts as she wriggled her toes at him through her dirty gray socks.
What a strip-tease. Poor Hunter...and edgy ending for the chapter.

FINAL COMMENT: Just a caution, so the scene does not become comic, think about adding the physical pain Hunter has to be feeling, so his view is seeing through a filter of extreme pain and discomfort. His tied wrist is pulling the cord around his throat. And he really tore at his bullet wound. (more than a nauseating feeling.) Your images of the woman are very vivid, especially the army boots combined with the muleish-boobs. . Mervyn, another entertaining and well-written chapter.
Best, Gale


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .