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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4319514
Review #4319514
Viewing a review of:
 COLORS  [ASR]
An old man on a park bench
by Joy
Review of COLORS  
Review by Mina~
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Joy,

It's been pleasure to review your story on behalf of the “The Earth day Challenge”. I am not a writing expert and this review is my opinion only.

You have written a very good piece of story; I liked the way you told the story with very clear descriptions and presentation. It is easy to read. I like this monologue based story. The story starts very beautifully with a thoughtful quote “The older you get, the more you give in to gravity.” You have original thoughts in your story.

The story:
The story is about an old man who lost his wife Marian many years ago. The old man used to visit the nearby park every day. One day he found a little puppy in the park. He named it Max after his dead friend.

Characters:
All the characters are well developed. I like these characters. You crafted them beautifully.

Dialogue : Dioulouge floated beautifully between the characters.

Favourite part:There are so many colors in nature. I look around now from this bench and I see them, but there are colors our eyes cannot see nor our minds can fathom. Does forgiveness have a color, Marian? I believe it does. I believe the color of forgiveness cannot be found in any flower, tree, or bird. But it can paint the hearts of old men. Not any impossibility exists from uniting the three of us in a higher realm. That’s what I believe Marian. That’s why I’ll always wear your ring. “

Suggestions:
I think you can make a bigger story from this piece. That would be very interesting.

This is an amazing thoughtful story and the ending was brilliant. I enjoyed it reading.


*Vine2**Flower3**Vine1**Vine2**Flower3**Vine1**Vine2**Flower3**Vine1*

*Starp* Mina *Starfishp*
*Flower3**Flowerb* *Treefall2* *Flower5* *Treecypress*
*Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass*
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/25/2017 @ 9:05am EDT
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