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 Review #4319719 |
 | Saving The Earth  [E] what can I do to brighten my future?  |
| (4.5)| Hi jaya My name is Ken and I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "Saving The Earth" on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" . First Impression/Thoughts: This was a personal account of one action in one place. It is duplicated many times over all around the world and the impact is beyond our comprehension. Thank you for sharing this story.  Creativity/Impact:A personal and unique approach to Earth Day. Well done.  Message/Theme: Uhhh, Earth Day?  Seriously, you've taken us on a close up view of a general condition. "Progress" is seen as a good thing but progress without conscience only dooms our future. Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the writer. Title: This was a big title  . It definitely would catch the attention of readers. The "teaser" line (or description  ) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I think you used this effectively to limit "saving the earth" to what one person could do. Grammar/Wording: Your language is excellent, bringing us into the moment and allowing us to share your experience. No issues noted. Form/Flow: Written as an essay, I thought you laid out your argument logically and in a manner that the average reader could understand. The actions you advocate are simple and, taken by many, can have a huge impact on the world.  Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:  An enjoyable and insightful read even if the subject showed our own indifference to what we're doing to the world. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017, Ken
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You responded to this review 04/27/2017 @ 1:19am EDT