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Review #4321934
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP
Hello there, Jacky
This is a Simply Positive Review! *FlowerT*


*TulipY* I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Review generator.


*Rabbit* Oh, yes, right up my alley, I must confess! I was one of those original Hippies, back in the sixties. It was a time of unconventional dressing, hair, attitudes and ideology -- counterculture all the way.


*TulipB* I have also come across younger generations who wish they had lived those years. They attempt to change their wardrobes and step into a time warp -- yet they will never really know what it was like at that time. We lived in fear of nuclear strikes and the Soviet Union coming after us. Music rocked our spirits to the very core. Ahhhh, the memories.


Observations:

"She was a sixties hippy, in 2015." [hippie] Unless you're talking about the size of her hips. *Smirk* You my want to change the spelling in the title, also.

"If she knows everything someone her age now knows, and sees everything someone her age now sees, and can still capture the goodness of being a hippy that works and take it forward in her life, you know, that would be very nice."

Suggestion:

*AsteriskV* This is a Flash Fiction, but I don't see a word count on it. I am assuming it was a tight one, because of the diminutive size of the story. I have noticed many run-on type sentences within the story. Unless it was a contest that had a certain number of sentences for the prompt and the rules, I think a couple of them could have been broken up or at least more punctuation used. This quoted part above, seemed a little awkward when I read it.

TRY:
If she knows and sees, everything someone her age now knows and sees, and still can find the idealistic goodness of the Hippie ideology, it would be wonderful if she carried forward in her life.
This is just a quick rewrite to give the flow of the idea more clarity for the reader. Just my opinion, though. You could do a better job clarifying it since it is your story.


*Music1* You have brought me back to all those years ago. Thanks for the memories!



Nice job! *Crayons10*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*





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