Hello!

I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would drop in to leave you with my thoughts - though I should be upfront about the fact that I am by no means an expert in poetry.

The poem looks good and overall I feel good about it. I thought that the sentiment was presented nicely.

As for it being jarring, I think that it's pretty smooth up until the end. Your last two couplets seemed to have a different meter than the rest of the lines in the poem. Even though I like the way that those four lines sounded together (and it might have been my favorite part of the poem) it did break up the rhythm when I read the poem out loud.

Anyway, I hope that this was helpful and that you keep writing poetry. Even with the one part that wasn't as smooth (for me, anyway) I think that it was a good read, and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing your work, and I wish you all the best in all your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,



-Cat









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .