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Review #4323188
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by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Dragon is hiding
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Dragon2*


*Dragon* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.

*Clip* Ha-ha-ha, cute little flash-story you have penned here. You bring the reader right into the classroom, make her feel the boredom of the moment and describe the heat in a way, that a girl who went through twelve years of parochial school can identify with -- wool uniforms and the heat of late spring!

*Silent* I got myself a little tongue twisted with the Georgia/Georgie twins. Boy, I guess their parents were really hooked on a name with a "George" as the base. *Laugh*

Observations

"It was a windy night in Birmingham when the plague broke out. It was cold and it was rainy"

You may want to cut the extra "it was" from these two consecutive lines. They stand out -- not in a good way. *Wink* Repeating words closely together gives the reader pause, and breaks-up the flow of the story. Especially in a case where the story is very succinct, such as this one.

*Crayons3* I loved the ending of the story -- not the plague and death part, but the French-braided Georgie's reaction to the instructor's question. *Laugh* I wonder if her twin Georgia, followed suit? *Wink*

Well done and humorous! *Ha*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*







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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/08/2017 @ 10:45pm EDT
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