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Review #4324855
Viewing a review of:
 The Winter Forest   [E]
A little girl wants to travel into the forbidden winter forest of her kingdom.
by Izzy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Palette*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*BulletV* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.


*Thinker* I think this is perhaps a draft copy or maybe an outline for a story with the intent on adding chapters? Thus, I am treating it as a work in progress.


*Witchlegs2* I glean from the read that there is some wealthy family, a secret forest entrance that is forbidden, and a little girl who wants to embark on an exciting journey, not knowing what lies ahead.

*CastleB* This is a good theme, if my observations are correct. You do have some work ahead of you to bring it to life, though.


Observations:

"Not as fancy this time a [I] see, mother," she said.

I thought I would give you a little break of [from] those big dresses today, but you'll have to where [wear] them at the ball tonight!"

we happened to see what beautiful winter woods you have behind the castle; to [too] bad it's forbidden,

Further Observations:

*Quill* You should separate the conversations/dialogue by spacing them, at least a couple spaces so it's easier for the reader to follow. It is thrown all together, feels rushed, and can be confusing as to what you are trying to portray to the reader.

*Thought* As I stated above, this is a fine story in the idea stage. It just needs a bit more editing and fleshing out of characters and scenes.


Keep working on this tale and it will come alive and shine brightly! *StarfishY*


Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


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