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Review #4324863
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP
Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Rr*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*PawPrints* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.

*ScallopP* I loved the serenity woven into these lines. I especially liked a couple lines in your first verse.
"Enjoyed the music’s sweet refrain"
"Were refreshed by a summer rain"


*Painting2* These paint stunning pictures that the reader could picture in her mind's eye. The sounds of the birds song and the sight of a caterpillar, probably hiding under a leaf and hoping not to be spotted by the bird. The rhythm is spot on and the rhyme felt natural.
*Wink*

*Boat* The flow was quite melodious itself, with perhaps a little glitch on a couple lines in the last stanza that could use a little strengthening.


Observation:

"Lay muddy on the ground"
And its rhyming line:
"Enjoy the rain a coming down"

*TagG* The second line is a little wordy and throws the mellow rhythm off a little bit. This could be easily fixed by keeping the same measure rhythm with each.

Example: Laying muddy on the ground & Relish the rain falling down


*Quill* This is just a quick rewrite. It's your poem and I'm sure you can come up with a better line.


Otherwise, Very lovely -- fine job! *DragonflyB*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*







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