I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator. I loved the serenity woven into these lines. I especially liked a couple lines in your first verse. "Enjoyed the music’s sweet refrain" "Were refreshed by a summer rain" These paint stunning pictures that the reader could picture in her mind's eye. The sounds of the birds song and the sight of a caterpillar, probably hiding under a leaf and hoping not to be spotted by the bird. The rhythm is spot on and the rhyme felt natural. The flow was quite melodious itself, with perhaps a little glitch on a couple lines in the last stanza that could use a little strengthening. Observation: "Lay muddy on the ground" And its rhyming line: "Enjoy the rain a coming down" The second line is a little wordy and throws the mellow rhythm off a little bit. This could be easily fixed by keeping the same measure rhythm with each. Example: Laying muddy on the ground & Relish the rain falling down This is just a quick rewrite. It's your poem and I'm sure you can come up with a better line. Otherwise, Very lovely -- fine job! Until next time--write on! Regards, WebWitch My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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