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Review #4325151
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Sun*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Pin* I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.

*DragonflyR* This is quite the diary-type of poem that describes the innocence of a young girl, who blossoms in her youth and is trapped by the pretense of love from a young man.

*Tornado* Girls have a difficult time when they approach a maturity of the body, yet the mind is still immature, and confusion and body image all twist around within her emotions.

Observations:

"The girl grew into a young lady, a young lady who hid her true self, a young lady who fell in love with an image, a young lady who learned between truth and lies.
The young lady hid her true self, she was smart and intelligent."

*NoteW* You repeat the line"hid her true image" I think it loses emphasis and becomes redundant to repeat the same words to describe the mask she wore for others who thought of her one way, when actually she was not that person at all. Also, "smart" and "intelligent" are the same meanings, thus one is unnecessary.

*Idea*Perhaps if the form were changed a bit, you could have the impact and emphasis you are trying to get across to your reader, thus, if there is a refrain line, such as the one mentioned above, you could place that separately, as a divider between the next verse. You could use more of a verse method, rather than the prose form used here. Just my opinion, though.

*Shark2* There is so much truth to your poem. Many a young lady will read this and say, "Yes, that's how it was or is for me, too!" It's great for them to know they are not alone in the false "love-trap."

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/03/2017 @ 11:26am EDT
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