House Florent "Game of Thrones" 

A review for "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Hi

My name is Prosperous Snow celebrating , I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Awakening

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with it not being the speaker's fault that he failed the Academy. In this story the main character, Robert, and his wife Marcie are adventurers who do not always work within the law. Both Robert and Marcie are intriguing characters.

What needs your attention: An unnecessary word in this phrase, shall by be, I suggest deleting by.

An unnecessary word in this phrase, sharp looking teeth, I suggest deleting looking because it does not add meaning to the sentence.

What part I liked best: I like the description of the creature because it was visual and part of the action of the story. I also like the fact that the author let the reader come to the conclusion of the creature species from the description rather then telling what it was.

Overall impression: The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the characters builds the suspense. I enjoyed reading this exciting story because the author explained the technology as part of the action of the story. Write on.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .