House Florent "Game of Thrones" 

A review for "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 

Hi

My name is Prosperous Snow celebrating , I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Missed Destiny

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the description of the moonlight flowing into the woman's bedroom. In this story a ghost reveals his love for a woman he never gave himself a chance to meet in his mortal life.

What needs your attention: A possible typo in this phrase, came back to be. Did you mean be or me? Because be does not appear to make sense in the context of the sentence. I did not find anything else that needs your attention.

What part I liked best: The first sentence is my favorite because of the way it describes the moonlight coming into the woman's bedroom. I also like the way the author revealed the ghost's emotions through the words rather then simple describing his unhappiness.

Overall impression: The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while the ghost speaking builds the suspense. I enjoyed reading this thought provoking story because of the way the ghost revealed his emotions. Enough background information was included, in the ghost's speech, to answer all of my questions. Write on.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .