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Review #4351836
Viewing a review of:
 Mrs. Anderson and the Closet  [E]
Our protagonist is anxious about going back to school. Writers Cramp entry.
by Quarter Over
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Quarter Over, I am reviewing you short story "Mrs. Anderson and the Closet" on the behalf of Game of Thrones here on WDC.

♥ This short story is about a student who dreads school because of his librarian, Mrs. Anderson. He dreads attending school, because he is afraid of the punishment that he may receive, because of his failing to turn in a library book that he damaged.

♥ Things I noticed/specific suggestions: Your sentence structure needs a bit of work.

For example, "Mrs. Anderson looked at them with daggers in her eyes, and gave a s,Ike. She simply said this. "Clean the closet."

I think it would read better if you changed the sentence structure to: "Mrs. Anderson looked at them with with daggers, gave a smile, and said, "Clean the closet."

♥ Spelling/Grammar: I spotted no common grammar or spelling g errors, the story seems to be well written.

♥ Overall: The story was well written and very entertaining. I enjoyed your tale of "the closet", and frankly by the end I was a little afraid of the closet myself.

This review was given freely in thanks for a writing that was written freely


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/15/2017 @ 11:05am EDT
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