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 Review #4354921 |
 | First Memory  [18+] What a woman remembers after her memory is lost.  |
| (4.0)| Review brought to you by: "Game of Thrones" by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation  OVERALL IMPRESSION - I know the television show you reference but I've never watched it. Mostly it was a solid story, but a few hiccups that stopped the flow. See technical below. PLOT~ A woman wakes in New York and cannot remember who she is. She finds a driver's license in her pocket but doesn't recognize the name. She has a vague recollection of where she's from and heads there. When she gets to the house, the man that answers the door is stunned that she's back because he thought she was dead and had her buried. Explosions start happening, and as they try to escape, Matt is killed before he can give her the information she needs to regain help jolt her memory. Veronica is then stabbed with a needle and falls unconscious. When she wakes hours later, she overhears a conversation between two CIA operatives who discuss who she is, why they are holding her, jolting her memory. The men leave her in Central Park. CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~ Veronica is a reporter working on a story and has her memory wiped. She is on a mission to find her true identity. Her husband Matt is killed in the process of her learning about her identity. Two CIA men give discuss the situation and give her more than enough to go on. It felt like you were in a rush to get all of the information out and that left a few mishaps in your story. TECHNICAL~ If she wakes up alone in New York where did the money come from to make it back to Philidelphia? That stood out for me. Also, when she's talking to Matt and the explosions start happening, you say the house blows up, but yet they get into the house and make it out the side door. I think you could slow things down a little and add more detail to everything that is happening which would add to the suspense and paint a clear picture of everything that is going. I wondered how she felt when she woke, what she saw, smelled. Was she physically hurting or struggling with her restraints? Just a little more added detail would really pull this story altogether and make it absorbing.  
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You responded to this review 08/22/2017 @ 10:11pm EDT