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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4355348
Review #4355348
Viewing a review of:
 Fit To Be Tied  [18+]
The Weekly Quickie Contest, Round 124
by Starling
Review of Fit To Be Tied  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Starling, I am reviewing your story "Fit To Be Tied" on the behalf of Game of Thrones here on WDC.

♥ First impression: Jock sexually abused Bonnie. Next thought, oh this is fiction. This short story is about a woman named Bonnie who goes to a dress shop in order to find the perfect dress for her date that night, but then the sales clerk Jock manages to catch Bonnie's eye and before she knows it he's eyeing her lachiveously, and then "helping" her try on her clothes.

♥ Things I noticed/specific suggestions: This short was written decent. I noticed a few errors of concern such as run on sentences and the like, but those can be easily fixed and did not actually detract from the story. I believe that if the author was to do another read through that those things can be easily fixed.

♥ Spelling/Grammar: I did not notice and spelling or grammar errors.

♥ Overall: This was a piece that sparkled and I enjoyed seeing the interaction between Jock and Bonnie.

This review was given freely in thanks for a writing that was written freely

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