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 Review #4358955 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (5.0)| Hi Andy~hating university  It's me, Ken, and yes, I'm the one who called "Goose" so technically you're getting ... Never mind!  It is my pleasure to both read and provide feedback on your epic poem "Invalid Item" as a member of and on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers" . First Impression/Thoughts: Holy crap! 120 lines - and all couplets! Believe it or not, I actually found it interesting and filled with information that I never knew. Great job! ** Image ID #2027705 Unavailable **  Creativity/Impact:I think your approach to this subject was excellent and intriguing following the classical story of Osiris and his mythological history in great detail. Very creative.  Technique/Technical Notes:I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words  . Title - I thought your title was clear and explanatory foreshadowing the content and sparking interest. The "teaser" line (or description  ) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I was pleased to see that you used it amplify your title and set up the scenario for your poem. Well done. Grammar/Wording - I saw nothing in error. Your language seems well chosen to reflect the message.  Form/Flow - Written in rhyming couplets, the overall flow was excellent. I did note a few inconsistencies in the meter but always for substance over form and read aloud, not noteworthy. You used solid perfect rhymes which really helped in the flow. A masterful undertaking. Overall Rating/Final Thoughts: A very informative and enlightening read. I think you found a great balance between storytelling and message delivery. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best, Ken ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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