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 Review #4360106 |
| This is your local Simply Positive Reviewer, here! Your writing has been selected for review, as part of Simply Positive's mission to bring more light on Authors here at WDC! First Impressions: Hello and thank you for allowing me to read your wonderful poem entitled: "Invalid Item" . I read through this poem, and noted its abbreviated lines, the meanings coming to the surface like when you chew into an apple's sweet, tart interior...It has the neat sense of flow, with the sentence structured aiding in the overall play on words. I likened this to a fresh mountain brook that surges over a steep decline, and babbles and bubbles its way to the next pool down, with each pool having an aggregate additional meaning added from the lines above that... It was, in many ways, a sweet - yet tart - experience.  Overall Impact: The poem has a sense of orderly structure that - instead of bringing in with it stale comparison poetic lines - it provides fresh thought processes of a teen who, attending school and loving a classmate who pretty much is her Siamese twin -takes to task the fact that not all is rubies and cream in this world however... One has to awaken to meet the day, be aware of one's social surroundings above all. But there is a huge plus in all this, someone that can captivate the person in the poem's heart. We revel in this, for the author describes a perfectly boring routine that anyone who rode a bus from ages 5 on up to age 18 were indeed consigned to riding the "Yellow Submarine", 10 times a week, to school and then back home. So who is the guy? Sure enough, the girl in the poem describes him as all kinds of neat things a girl looks for in a boyfriend. We are not sure exactly how far along is this relationship, but from what I can see, there are solid feelings and this uplift effect brings this poem out of the academic doldrums many of us suffered for decades! (if you had an experience like mine, that is! *roll* ) Errors: No errors found in this poem today. Summation: A finely chiseled, compact, flowing poem that hits all the bases, creates credible "tension" that is derived from the everyday blah-blahs that otherwise reflects the typical American school day. This story involves so much more... A solid write, a decent presentation of writing talent and....like I tell everyone else around this place.... KEEP WRITING!  Once again, thank you for providing me the opportunity to read and review for Simply Positive; this also has been written in affiliation with
Yours, "Dr.J"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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