A synopsis of this plot would suggest a classic gangster tale, told through the eyes of an innocent bystander. Two mobs at perpetual war with each other, each with tentacles reaching far enough into the life of the city they struggle to control that everyone seems to get tangled up in the intrigue. Our main character's father has been taken hostage by one faction. In desperation, he seek out the assistance of the opposing crime lord in an effort to get his father back.

Unfortunately, I think you're going to need to do more homework to tighten up your narrative technique. It's not always clear what's happening; your sense of time and your pacing are confusing. You seem to have some jump cuts from one scene to the next without actually alerting the reader that a transition has taken place. Likewise your dialogue; it's not always clear who's speaking to whom.

Keep in mind, a good story isn't just about things that happen. For sure, lots of things happen here. It's about things that happen to specific characters and what they do in response. A story will stand or fall, not on its plot mechanics, but on the small details of your characters' personalities, how they interact, how much your readers will be willing to allow themselves to be drawn into the universe you've created. If they stumble, not once, not twice, but several times, and are forced to think, "That's not how he'd react," they won't stick with you.