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 Review #4361306 |
| This is your local Simply Positive Reviewer, here! Your writing has been selected for review, as part of Simply Positive's mission to bring more light on Authors here at WDC! First Impressions: Hello and thank you for allowing me to read and review your awesome poem entitled: "Invalid Item" . That said, I must confess that your poem is stirring, taking easily recognized scientific wording and weaving them into one well-constructed Free Verse poem. Altogether, when I read through it twice, I found it had decent flow, its structure fairly solid, and when put together, gave me plenty to ponder and contemplate. My initial reaction was one of recognizance: indeed, sine waves and the mind, the abrupt interruption of the which can be seen on equipment that reflects peaks and troughs, all of them filling the valley of my consciousness... Overall Impact: We take to heart the very fact that within all of this, there is a major point that the author makes, that the person in the poem makes, that concedes that among other things, the person's creative work involving the equipment he uses and fine tunes makes for a clear warning amid the stillness of the poem itself. For we read: "Can you see yourself in my mirror I hope not For your sake.." To what do we believe the author speaks of? Honestly, further into this work, we read of sand...which is needed to make glass.....and glass that is ground down to a much finer optic... I think I know exactly what the author is speaking of, and it is capable of striking the mark from exceedingly long distances, provided that one knows what one is doing... For that matter, some of us do, actually .... Errors: I don't think there are errors here - words in Free Verse poetry do not always flow or seem to fit certain symmetry or parameters that the trained eye can spot. But we certainly will try.... " My mirror is beautiful Polished with CMP So fine is the base the melted down the structures Glass sand scrapped down the mind Showing what was left " I wonder if this version that I write might, just might sound better? Here, I gave it a try... " My mirror is beautiful Polished with CMP SO fine is the base, melted down, the structures ... Glass, sand - scraped down, the mind Showing what was left." Again - it is only a suggestion.  The poetic table is now set, for the person in the poem is describing how a proverbial table is now set up, and in doing so, we read that the person in this poem is not interested in taking away nor slighting anything that is brought to that table. It feels as if there is a very serious negotiation being brought forth... Another stanza reads thus: "Mind a clutter Mind clear Mind slow" There is an absolute zen in this stanza that I find absolutely impossible to ignore. A Warrior mindset is now fully in play, for the Warrior himself is repeating a kind of mantra if you will, allowing that there be no further chance of a mind having to deal with clutter, a mind that is absolutely clear, and in that same breath of description, the mind is also now slowing down, breathing inward all that is around the person in the poem as well. It reminds me of a movie entitled "The Last Samurai". In it, Tom Cruise plays the part of an American military officer, sent to Japan to advise the Emperor on matters of launching Japan into the world of "progress" all around. It is a sad moment when, as we see soon enough, that the Emperor is advised to cut all ties with the feudal system that was present in Japan for centuries and millenia. Truth be told, after he is captured by Samurai in a battle, Cruise sees all those around him, the ways of the Samurai in all that they do, all that they think, all that they act upon. He sees a world filled with honor, filled with righteousness, with duty and with a code of honor throughout everything. In learning how to fight with swords, Cruise finds himself battling the 2nd in command of the village, a samurai who has cruelly beaten him earlier, and now, using wooden swords, the man agrees to battle Cruise repeatedly, and that is when, through deep in futility, another samurai approaches Cruise, points to his head, and says, "Too much mind" - in English. He is effectively being told to clear his mind. Simply focus. This poem is following along that same mantra. Following along that same complete focus. Summation: I ciphered this poetry as best as I can. I think that rudimentary understanding of physics aside, there is a ongoing message underlying these words that, while its complete intent might not be totally clear in its way of speaking, that is okay too. Why? Because poetry CAN be taken in many separate directions, all at once, all together in the manner of speaking. We see what it is we see, we receive an impression made upon us by the writing itself. How we interpret it indeed can be an important perspective, but then we must ask... is it an accurate one? Rather than think this is somehow threatening or what-have-us, I believe that this poem is....what it is... Which I believe says it all.... KEEP WRITING! Once again, thank you for providing me the opportunity to read and review for Simply Positive; this also has been written in affiliation with
Yours, "Dr.J"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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