Hello!

It's been a pleasure to review your story on behalf of the “"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This review for "Invalid Item" 

This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting to you. I've read a few more of your stories and I thought that the stories that you have here are really beautiful.

First Impression : This is interesting story, beautifully written with the prompt. I like the smoothness of your writing.

The story: I especially liked the forest pictures you have painted here for example where you wrote:
” Sometimes the forest harbors little reddish foxes. I’ve seen squirrels and chipmunks there, too. Lots of birds. Birds love the woods. They flutter from tree to tree and squawk at me when I run down the path that leads in and down under the trees.”

I like the way how you wrote this story. I understand, I read just a chapter that’s why it seems incomplete to me. I think it may fit on the next chapters later on. Otherwise, it’s a beautiful story. The way you wrote keeps me reading it to the end.

Characters: I think your character Ricardo de la Noche is well developed. You give a good description to this character for example “His legs swung back and forth. Hairy legs. Legs nothing like mine. He was shirtless, too. A wonder to see”

I also like your role in this story.

Dialogues : Dialogue floated beautifully between the characters and wasn't boring at all.

Overall Impression This is interesting story. Beautifully told and written. I can’t wait to read another chapter from you. I enjoyed it reading.

Happy Writing!

Mina  


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