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Review #4362502
Viewing a review of:
 Beauty in Nature  [E]
A poem about beauty a nature
by Keggie
Review of Beauty in Nature  
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"Simply Positive Review Forum " 

Greetings, Keggie


This is your local Simply Positive Reviewer, here! Your writing has been selected for review, as part of Simply Positive's mission to bring more light on Authors here at WDC!

First Impressions: Hey there, Keggie ! Thanks for allowing me to read and review your very brief poem entitled: "Beauty in Nature" .

I must confess two things before I go further: one, I love Free Verse poems...

Two - I love poems about nature.

All in all, I opened this poem hoping to find something that would REMIND me of nature, the Great Nature, the all-absorbing pull of Nature. I opened this writing hoping to read about sunsets or birds flying, fish jumping from streams or rock created by cooling lava.

I hoped maybe there would be mention of stars above on a clear, cold night or the sounds blizzards make as they make their way past the old boards nailed to the side of a barn.

Maybe the sensation of hairs rising on the back of one's forearms before lightning's impending strike....

Something. Anything.





Overall Impact: I believe that in truth, what I found was a vague line that allowed that the person in the poem most likely left some stress behind the desk perhaps, walked outside and ..........marveled....

But at what?



Errors: There were no mistakes here that I could see.



Summation: You know, whenever I read Newbie's writing here on WDC, I always always always try to enunciate what it is that I see/read and try to give some positive feedback, something to hang my hat on so that I can say, "Here! THIS is awesome! *Heart**Smile*"

So, my advice?

I would revamp this poem, totally and completely.

This is a classic case where we as Poets must live up to the mantra that in penning something to paper, we strive to not "Tell" our readers what it is that we love/hate in this world....but through the eyes of the person in the poem, to "SHOW" them what it is that we love/hate so much in this world.

I have nothing to go on in this manner, and in all honesty, this reads like a "test" whereby a new writer places something out here for the folks on Writing.com to read... and sits back and waits to find out what others might have thought of it?

Let me give you ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT I CAN MUSTER by letting you know what it is that we BOTH know...that Nature...the Great Nature...is so filled with sights and smells and sounds that literally can arrive at our very senses through the use of poems here on this site! *Smile* I would love to see the author pen something that they can SEE, that they can HEAR, that they can TASTE perhaps....give us something that you can SHOW us, in all the senses you might have.

That is the best advice I can think to give you today!!

Keep on writing! We will be here to help you in the very near future!! *Bigsmile*




Once again, thank you for providing me the opportunity to read and review for Simply Positive; this also has been written in affiliation with
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The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH



Yours,
"Dr.J"


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