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Review #4366175
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Review by ~ Aqua ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi ma001g5611 ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Happy WDC Account anniversary! I am reviewing your work as part of "Anniversary Reviews and Twelve Labourers of WDC. I was searching for something to read and review from your portfolio when this one caught my attention. I love reading and reviewing romantic poems and stories, and when I saw that yours was a romance poem, I knew I had to stop by.

The tone and the mood in the poem is very warm and loving. It soothes the reader as if she is listening to a soft, rhythmic song that calms and pacifies her. You start the poem in a lovely way, I was a bit confused as to how it might relate the poem theme and the starting stanza but as I read on, I understood how you had taken on the subject and I admired, loved your approach. You question about all the unsure and unconfirmed, sad and doubtful things about the world, both about nature and human personality and nature, but in the end, there was one thing that would never change and it was the love of the couple for each other.

It was a lovely ending stanza and that is my favourite one too from your poem. Really enjoyed it! The flow of your poem was good, there was no interruption of any sort and the pacing was just about right. The vocabulary you had used in your work was good, it was casual and didn't seem off at any point.

I had some suggestions for your work. Feel free to discard any if you do not agree.

==>Can a falling star, light up the sky?
Can a falling star light up the sky?
~ Remove the comma.

==>The seasons they come, and go,
The seasons, they come and go,
~ Remove the comma, and put a comma instead before the 'they come.'

==>So say you love me and you’ll always stay,
Right by my side, come what may.
We’ll be together until the end of time,
I’ll be yours, and you'll be mine.

So say you love me, and you’ll always stay
Right by my side, come what may.
We’ll be together until the end of time.
I’ll be yours, and you'll be mine.
~ Shift the comma in the first line and some other punctuation adjustments.

Once again, a very happy WDC anniversary!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!
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