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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4375521
Review #4375521
Viewing a review of:
 A drunk starry night story  [13+]
Love's timing is really amazing.
by Kalesh
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Bon jour, Kalesh!
This isn't bad. It's certainly different. It's strange what 'love' can do to a guy's mind, and you did a great job of showing that here. Granted, that whiskey on the rocks probably didn't help, but I don't think that had too much to do with it.
I've heard of the term 'punch drunk in love', so perhaps that was what your character was. For him to incorrectly believe that the dog was the object of his affections, if even for that short of time, shows that he might have had a little more than whiskey! *Laugh*
Well told, my friend. Some of the sentences were a little bumpy (fragmented), but for the most part it wasn't bad.
A couple of tiny niggles that stood out:
'That instance an inspiration from (a) Bollywood movie flowed through me...'
‘Anita, I am in love with you and no one else(,)’ my arms wide open.'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kalesh, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community, if you haven't already!


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