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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4393610
Review #4393610
Viewing a review of:
 a bad story  [E]
a very funny story.
by genkrow
Review of a bad story  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Bon jour, Genkrow!
Hmmm. I'm not really sure what to say about his piece. I know these are all different stories and you said that they 'connect', but for the life of me I don't see this connection! I do see how the whole thing comes from full circle to you at 1st being the groom and then to the end where you're the bride, but otherwise, I just don't see it.
A little strange, but at least you wrote something, and as writers we just have to do that sometimes!
A couple of tiny niggles:
'my bride was ultra-beautiful' (My)
'Erik quit hos stupid job.' (his)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Genkrow (or Eric, or Sherama, or Tanaka, or Booka, or Clay, or John, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!

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