Hello JS McBride,

Congratulations on winning "The Daily Poem" with this funny family piece! I can totally see why you chose "comedy" as the main genre. It made me smile and chuckle.

You kept my attention riveted the whole way through. I didn't have to pause to wonder about any distracting grammatical, spelling or other errors. Your writing was flawless.

Your rhyming was perfect and complemented the piece well.

Your sense of humor is great and even with the trick planned at the end, it's clear you love your precious children. The end did definitely surprise me though. Of course, that's what you intended, I'm sure.

You employed good imagery. I could easily picture the scenes in my mind as I read.

You did a great job of showing (vs telling). Like the gritted teeth in this line: "“This is not my first go-round you know,” through gritted teeth I utter."

Too bad children don't always cooperate the easy way, yes? That would make parents' lives so much easier! But then there would be less inspiration for great poetry.

You wrote such a nice poem I can't think of any suggestions for improvement.

Write on!
PWheeler

*** WDC Angel Army Review ***
** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .