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Review #4394686
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (4.0)
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Greetings, I.M. Frayed!
This isn't bad, but it's a little ambiguous (confusing without a real end). But I know how difficult these 300 word contests can be, so I can't really fault you for that.
It sounds like your character's mother was a little out of it, and I'm guessing some of that rubbed on your character too. The part about the gas and the smoke and the glass was a little confusing, but I'm also guessing that the character might have tried suicide?
Regardless, the spelling and grammar were good, but I did spot a couple of niggles:
'Not good(,) but better.' (there's also a few other spots in this that could use a comma)
'I didn't thought about my last words until asked...' (think)
Kee ponw ritin gon, I.M., and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-I read your portfolio intro, and I hope that by joining this site your life settles down some! And good luck in the contest!
PPS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!

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