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Review #4396807
Viewing a review of:
 The Caged Bird  [E]
A twist on Maya Angelou's poem, "I know why the caged bird sings".
by freedom and nature
Review of The Caged Bird  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Title:
The Caged Bird
Description:
A twist on Maya Angelou's poem, "I know why the caged bird sings".
         *Bell* FIRST IMPRESSIONS *Bell*

         *ThumbsUp* I LIKE *ThumbsUp*
What and why:
I like the story in general because it speaks of the freedom the bird enjoyed, however sadly this freedom was lost when it became a caged bird. This takes me to the feeling of freedom and give me a sense of the loss which this bird experienced. What I hope happened is that the bird had a bright and wonderful future with whom ever was holding it inside a cage.
For me this works very well and conveys the dire situation which the bird finds itself enduring.

Now held captive in a cage;
where it will perish with age.

plot:
The story of the bird once free then caged can be substituted for many different creatures and beings and this brings to my mind the idea of us being thoughtful and kind to creatures and humans alike. The color and vividness of these events was something which stood out to me because of the way the story was told and the arrangement of the word art.

Rhythm:
The rhythm from my point of view can be improved which I will suggest further down the page. Much of this writing is good and can be made much better with a little tweeking.

         *Binoculars* OBSERVATION(S) *Binoculars*

         *Question* QUESTION(S) *Question*

What inspired you to create this work?

         *InfoV* SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: *InfoV*

My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you:
         

on a most delightful journey, no doubt.
a most delightful journey, no doubt. or
a delightful journey, no doubt. For me this smooths out the rhythm much, much better especially when read aloud.
Another way to do this and get similar results is to:
most delightful journey, no doubt. This gives a strong sense of being very delighted in and with the journey.

It chooses to land on the sand;
moving in a way that nature understands.
Choosing to land on the sand;
moving, which nature understands. for me this had the same meaning and is much smoother and less cumbersome to try to read or say.

Slow and easy;
never in a hurry.
Slow and easy;
never to hurry.

Suddenly wings flap and it takes off,
never having to stay for it is always independence day.
Suddenly taking off as wings flap, or: rising quickly as wings flap
not bound to stay, forever independence day. never to stay, it's independence day

*Thought* CONCLUSION(S) *Thought*

My thoughts and Impressions:

As I read and reread this poem I become more and more aware of the emotions possibly fear, clostrophobia,that down and depressed feeling of being jailed never to be free again, and perhaps thinking of giving up which some animals do when they are taken out of their natural environment, as well as, the sense of the loss of freedom and the longing to be free.

Your poetry story showed thoroughly the plight of the once free bird in it's freedom and then in it's captivity. I was able to easily and vividly see in my minds eye much like watching a movie the events as they were presented in your word art.

Thank you very much for sharing this work and allowing me to review for you.
Safe travels and many blessings.

*ThumbsUp*


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