Hello,

My name is Mastiff and I'll be reviewing your piece. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else, and thank you for sharing your writing.

Title: It certainly describes the story. You might want to substitute it for something else in the sub-title. Perhaps you missed... no, puns are bad

Initial Reaction: It kind of caught me right away, since I live a few miles from a coast, and relate to your character quickly.

Setting: I think this was also well done, but I would give you the same advice given me. When you write, and especially edit, remember all the senses. My coast has a taste and a smell, I bet Ryan felt those as well!

Character Development: We only know one man, and for a short time. I think the transformation says things about him, and we have to draw our own conclusions. Do we want to know any more about the woman?

Plot: Different. I liked the unusual 180 degree turn. It makes me wonder if this isn't something that happened to someone.

Ending: We leave worried for our one person. It's quite sad.

Line-by-line and Suggestions: All I saw were paragraph fixes. I might watch beginning the story with "As" twice, but that's me.



Not a bad read at all! Happy Writing!

Mastiff