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Review #4397931
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by A Guest Visitor
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi Charlie ~

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . It is part of a challenge in "Invalid Item" .

Please remember these views are purely my own and everyone has different opinions.

First Impressions: This poem made me smile. It's so true and such a keen observation. I was literally speaking to my friend about this the other day. They were saying everyone has better jobs than them, nicer houses, more money. But I was like, "You don't know what their lives are like behind all their fakeries." This poem really reminded me of that.

Voice/Tone: The voice makes me think of someone who is almost outside of life. I mean, I'm sure they partake in it, but they seem detached from others. From this position, they are able to observe human behaviour and make commentary on how it works. Your opening lines are a great hook. You say that just because some people hold their heads higher than others, it doesn't mean they are really any happier. This interested me because I've just read through quite a few of your poems, and I noticed your observations regarding being able to hold your head high comes up a few times. That really intrigued me.

Mechanics: Your free verse style works perfectly in this poem. I love free verse, and you have used it really well in this poem.

Rhythm: There is a great rhythm throughout. The poem reads seamlessly, with the pauses and emphases in all the right places, impacting as strongly as possible on the reader.

My Favourite Part: The whole poem really appeals to me. I love the last few lines: "we know that for each and every one of them, / there exists a name that would / make their breath catch in their throats." I love that. Everyone has their weak spots. Everyone has their secrets; many of which are shameful to them. The description of the "single sentence that could break them" is wonderful. I also loved the description of, "your lonely-laced nights." It makes me think how delicate and fragile those lonely nights are. The comparison between that and "sun-soaked" is fab.


Keep writing!

Choconut

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