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Review #4399168
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Hello Moonshine252,

Welcome to writing.com!

I saw your emotional / inspirational poem in the "Read a Newbie" section.

Your poem is beautiful and touching. It reminded me of the brevity of life and times spent as a staring up at the stars.

In the spirit of helpfulness, I do have a suggestion for improving your already wonderful poem. If you'd like constructive criticism, read on. If not, just stop here and know that I enjoyed your poem.

I felt like it ended abruptly... I suspect you ended it that way to encourage the reader to think... but I think a stronger ending would be to just say "Thinking" as the last line, instead of "You think about" ... that's just my opinion. Take it or toss it, as serves you best.

Thank you for sharing your poem! Write on!

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler

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