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Review #4399822
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Review by Mina~
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (5.0)
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Hi K.H.Bey!

It's been a pleasure to review your story "Invalid Item"  on behalf of "The WDC Angel Army" 

*BurstP* First Impression: This is a thoughtful poem. I like how you penned it down. The words are very true. It's real to life.

*BurstP* The poem: You wrote beautifully that revelation will happen sooner or later may be of love between friends.

I like the images “weak like a card castle “ “Like stones in the ocean “ you have painted here. Every line is pure, a little stressed out but very true.

*BurstP* Favorite parts :
“Hidden for long;
Just a shadow remains;
Contemplating years;
Which have gone forever;"

*BurstP* Suggestion: It seems you have used semicolon’s in each line. I'm not expert in the same but my suggestion is remove the semicolons.

I enjoyed your poem.It's well written.

This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert.

*FlowerV**Vine2* Mina *Vine1**FlowerV*
*Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass**Grass*
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/20/2018 @ 8:12am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4399822