Hello Charles



Disclaimer:
These are only my opinions. Feel free to use what you find helpful and disregard the rest

Welcome to WDC

Starting with the title, it really screams and gets your attention. However, I'm not sure it fits the poem. The feelings I get from the poem is sadness and lonely, not someone who wants to kill.

This piece has a good rhythm. Adding in punctuation would help. Good imagery and emotion. I think it could be a little longer add more emotions maybe.

I feel the message is someone crying out for help because of depression. Something in there life isn't going good.

Good job.
Thank you for sharing.
Keep on writing.


Gypsy Ann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .