Hello,

I'm Mastiff with the WDC Angel Army, and we're swooping into ports. Or so I'm told. I'm new at this and just an amatuer writer putting fresh eyes on your work.

The Hook: I'd just watched Hacksaw Ridge, and enjoy both fiction and documentaries about WWII. I think people like me will check this out due to a natural curiosity.

The Dialogue: Not much of it, but the one line was believable.

Character Development: Hard to do too much on such a limited word count, but I think everyone has a notion of how it was on that beach. Although unless you were they, I'd bet you really don't.

Scenery: Well done for the space. Plenty of short descriptions that let us add to our own picture.

Plot: I don't think you were going for a plot, because it's historical fact. I do wonder where you got any insight on it, though.

Mechanics:
Para 1 Ln 6 - Looks like a fragment, and maybe you meant it, but it's something I note.
Para 2 Ln 4 - A comma after "eyes" closes the conjunctive "if" in the sentence.
Para 6 Ln 4 - You want "retched" I believe. Perhaps even a comma in there, too.

Final Thoughts: I liked it. I could see it, and it ended badly, as it did for many.


Happy Writing!

Mastiff