Hello,

It's Mastiff, the new guy, and I'll be reviewing your piece. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else. Thank you for sharing your writing. But! Happy Birthday! We share the same month, I'm on the 26th.

Title: I tend to work my reviews by doing the title first, before reading much further. As an agnostic, I'm curious about what others think about souls, but having soul as a proper noun in the subtitle made me even more interested. Good job on that.

Initial Reaction: I think I found the most interesting is you used the capitalized "Soul" again, so it's no accident. I also immediately felt the story was about the baby. So, I was curious where it was going. Again, that's a good thing.

Setting: You set the scene quite well, but using all five, or six, senses is something I always remind people to do when I review. It also reminds me to do it. You had opportunities with smell, even though there was nothing to really taste.

Character Development: I had a little trouble visualizing the people, since you didn't give much description, but I could still feel them. I know the rapist is evil, for example, but I'd want him to be a greasy tub of lard...

Plot: Unique. Not sure if you were word limited, but you could stretch this to 1000 words very easily, and I'd have liked that!

Ending: It's odd how you dropped the caps on "soul," but then capitalized "someone." It looks like it was done with intent and I'll have to mull it over as to why you did it.

Line-by-line and Suggestions:
Para. 2 Ln. 3 - Missed a capitalization on "she."
Para. 3 Ln. 2 - Probably need a comma after the prepositional phrase that begins the sentence. (Same with para. 5 Ln. 2)
Para. 4 Ln. 2 - A comma after "away" makes it a true compound sentence.
Para. 4 Ln. 6 - I would have used a conjunction, but that's just me.
Para. 5 Ln. 3 - Another comma after "price" is probably warranted. (After "hell" in the next sentence, too.)
Para. 6&7 - You double spaced the paragraph, but it may have been on purpose.
Para. 7 Ln. 3 - You want "breath." Also, a comma and quotes for the whisper would make the line sing.

Overall - You end several sentences with prepositions, and I know it's more acceptable today than in days of yore, but I still avoid it. (I'm old school.) A good edit would polish this piece up, and it would be a worthwhile effort.

Happy Writing!

Mastiff