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 Review #4408246 |
 | The wind goes by  [E] A wind goes by and surprise everyone, the wind is strong so don't be a fool to be in there  |
| (3.5)| THIS REVIEW IS JUST FOR YOU. SAFE TRAVELS & MANY BLESSINGS    I am reviewing your work as a "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" family member, on behalf of The WDC Army Angels  WHY I'M REVIEWING FOR YOU  Group/purpose: This gift is just for you so you can write with might and gift delight to readers through out WDC with confidence and best ability! Title: The Wind Goes By I was wondering what the wind goes by so decided to read about this. Description: A wind goes by and surprise everyone, the wind is strong so don't be a fool to be in there Your description made me consider what the trouble may be with the wind. Also, to smooth out this description you should add an (s) to surprise and  FIRST IMPRESSIONS  I LIKE What and why: The wind acting as a person is an interesting twist for this story. The unknown person has the potential for more character building which could bring to life some interesting situations which would add suspense and interest to your story. The evil within the wind could possibly be from some source trying to do something awful to someone of thing or perhaps unlawful act which would hurt the general population. The man who interrupts this evil scheme and causes the demise of the wind could be a citizen, a law enforcement officer,military or alien (outer space or foreigner). The wind could be a weapon or natural man make distraction while something =else is happening or it could be a creation of an enemy trying to take over whatever your imagination can create. These possibilities because of this great beginning in your story have given me the fun and enjoyment of thinking about the possibilities, much thanks. plot: The idea of evil verses good is a good story line which can be expanded to create a very interesting short story, novelette, or novel and possibly a screen play. The wind could be evil, however it also could be a weapon or distraction which makes the twist and turn of this story an adventure depending on how it is presented. The other characters in the story have huge potential for extensive development and inter twining them into a situation which could be horror, fantasy, sic-fi, or even comedy but for me something which relates to what we know being made into a conflict of evil verses good works well. Rhythm: With the smoother sentences which result in a better reading experience this story is a must read and I enjoyed a pleasure and pleasurable reading experience. Characters Allow your imagination to go wild and enjoy the process of creation. environment While reading your word art I was wondering what the environment was like, such as weather, location, planet, surrounding, the things people experience and know about. This can be changed to whatever your imagination creates or be realistic. challenge of good verses evil Why would whoever want to do the evil and why would the good want to stop the evil? How would these challengers interact with each other and what are the results? Is there an underlying reason(s) for what they do> Can they be doing this for the right or wrong reason(s)? What else What in this world is important? Who did what, when, where, why, and how? When you answer these questions you will find great treasure for your story and threader which readers will want to know about.  OBSERVATION(S)  QUESTION(S)  SUGGESTIONS AND COMMENTS: My thoughts and ideas which may be of interest to you: A wind wanted to get passpast this person, but the person won't let her through. The wind started to cry and and start to howl. Making a few changes will smooth out these sentences for me/readers. The person finally the wind go, let or let the wind pass, or allowed the wind to go past, or any other words which would forward this story. The evil wind have has this smile that everyone sees and get haunted. Which haunts them or you could rearrange this idea: The evil wind's evil smily seen by everyone haunts them. Seeing the winds evil smile haunts everyone. or whatever works for your writing voice. ...the man won't look at her ... wouldn't or would not  CONCLUSION(S) My thoughts and Impressions: Your ideas in your story are exciting and well worth reading about. My imagination enjoyed the adventure of roaming through your story and creating possibilities. Thank you for taking the time and effort to write your word art and for sharing it with me, readers, reviewers, and for allowing me to review for you. Please let me know how I can help as needed. I will be interested to read about what you create for this story and am willing to change the rating. Safe travels and many blessings.  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  You are being reviewed by "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS" [E]! Feel free to check us out to find out our purpose on Writing.Com. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" The WDC Army Angels  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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