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Review #4415553
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Review by Choconut
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: | (4.5)
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Hi Nunya

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . This review is part of "Invalid Item" .

Please remember these views are purely my own, and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: This is a powerful poem. I love the speed at which the words appear. It feels like it's reflecting the turmoil taking place inside your head. I found it an emotional read because I can relate to a lot of what you say. Those voices suck the life out of you, don't they? It really feels like this is exactly what's going on in your head. That inner narrator we all have is making you question everything, and it's hard. Really hard. But really well written and well described.

Voice/Tone: The tone is one of anxiety. This is reflected in the short statements each line contains. It's like you're searching for answers to your own mind. You're searching to understand and get some peace. You're trying to explain it to yourself and others.

Mechanics: I imagine this poem is spoken really quickly. Each line is quick fire and a complete thought. The free verse form lends itself really well to this kind of poem. I don't know if you've ever written a Blitz Poem? But, this one reminds me a little of one of those. It might be interesting to try to write it as a Blitz. Here's a link for Blitz poems: Blitz Poems  .

This poem feels like you're trying to reassure yourself that you're okay and you will survive. The lines that state: " I’m not crazy. Although I feel it sometimes. / I’m not a psycho. Although I feel it sometimes. / I’m not dangerous. Although I feel it sometimes." highlight how you're trying to provide some comfort for yourself. I don't think you're speaking to anyone else at that point.

My Favourite Part: I love the progression of your thoughts, to the end, which is really powerful: "If i give in, / And listen to the voices. / Just know that it wasn’t, / Without a / Fight." I totally get that. I understand how the constant fight against the voices wears you out, and there are days you just don't care whether you make it to another or not. This poem expresses that really clearly. I also love the first three words you use to describe the thoughts in your mind. By likening them to a twister, cyclone, and tornado, we see how quickly they are moving and how much turmoil and destruction they are leaving in their wake. That's really clever.

This is another great poem from you, CJ. I really like your style. I really like the emotion you pour into your writing. You're very brave in how much of yourself you put into your content. I admire that. I love the honesty in your writing. It's a really great poem.

Keep writing!

Choconut

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