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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4426146
Review #4426146
Viewing a review of:
 Reasonings  [13+]
Converstion with myself
by fyn
Review of Reasonings  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Fyn,

This was a very interesting short story. It felt like a peek into your mind during your (presumably) second marriage. It raised as many questions as it answered, but I like the central life lesson - turn your sufferings into stories.

My favorite part was these two lines:
"Hey, you didn't want snow, remember?

Well, I changed my mind!" because they were funny and so clearly show the internal battle you were fighting.

In the spirit of helpfulness I do have one thought/suggestion to share... I'm not entirely sure if the story might be improved by deleting the last paragraph. It drives home the lesson but maybe shorten it? You could have the ellipsis after "unhappy" and it'd still get the point across, but shorter.

Thank you for sharing your story!

Once again, I'm super glad you're featured as a port raid recipient in the Angel Review Forum and look forward to reading more of your stories.

May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler


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