Hello Azrael Tseng ,

Thank you so much again for your formal review request for your item "Invalid Item" . I remember really liking the last version of this I read, which I believe was a short story? It's one of the only western things I've ever enjoyed, and since it left such a strong impression with me I've really been looking forward to seeing it fleshed out into a longer story.

As we talked about over PMs, this review is just going to cover presentation and the information on the item page, so with that being said, let's jump right into it.



Cover Art: One thing that always sticks out for me, personally, is when the author makes the extra effort to select an image for the item in question - especially for a book item like this where it's obvious a lot of thought has gone into the story. You've not only selected an image, but you have a customized piece of artwork for the cover. (And it's gorgeous, by the way.)

The only downside to this is that I can barely see it because of how small the Writing.Com thumbnail images are. (One thing you might want to consider is tossing in a short little artist credit on this page that links out to a fullsize image of the cover, so people who are interested in it can admire the art.)
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Book Information: Normally I don't like to read a lot about a book going in, but because of the way that book items are laid out on this site, there is a little bit of extra space that I personally never know what to do with. I think your use of the item page to sell your book and display things like your synopsis, pitch, and cover letter was pretty genius - and all in all it's well formatted.

The only thing you were missing to make this feel like a complete pitch was a few review blurbs

The presentation was also successful in the most important aspect; selling the audience your book. Of course, I wanted to read this going in, so I might not be a fair judge of that.





Query Letter

As I mentioned above I think it was a clever move to put a sample query letter right with the book item, and it's a great way to get feedback on it. There were just a couple quick, finicky points I wanted to touch on about the letter itself.


Example ▼

Chapter by Chapter Outline I'm a little bit confused by the section at the bottom titled "chapter by chapter" outline, since it looks almost exactly like the table of contents. Is that something you're going to expand on?




Overall I'm really impressed with the way that you've laid out the book item, and it has successfully kept up my enthusiasm about your story. You can expect the first chapter review from me shortly, and thank you again for the request!

Sincerely,


-Cat









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .