Hello,

My name is Mastiff and I'll be reviewing your piece. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else. Thank you for sharing your writing, and I hope this is helpful! We're raiding our own ports this month, so here I am!

Title: I first thought it could be an auto racing story, but then the subtitle dissuaded me from that. It was good enough to catch my eye, so it worked.

Initial Reaction: It took a bit, but I kind of stop after a short read to see if it's something I think is a good fit with how I review, and if I relate to the piece. Since I dabbled with oils and did very poorly, I decided to read on.

Setting: It seems to flash around some, without any explanation. Not sure if you had a word limit, but I'd add in some transitions.

Character Development: I think we understood the main character just fine. Well developed... but if you bring others in, a little more description.

Plot: Not sure why you waited so long to let use know it was a cruise. But it was also other places, it seemed. More location background would make this work sing.

Ending: I think I get it. A new model. I think you could have taken me further in this story.

Line-by-line and Suggestions:

Para. 6 Ln. 1 - Why the ' around off. If you wanted to set it off, italics could be considered.

Overall - I think it's technically well written. You tend to use an abundance of two word exclamatory statement. It's fine here, but probably not long term.

Happy Writing!

Mastiff